As I was reading through the Birmingham News this afternoon, an article from the New York Times news service caught my eye. It was titled "Report: Women are choosing to delay or forgo having children." As a woman who chose to forgo having children, I read it with interest. The article says that more women in their early 40s (that would be me) are childless and those who are having children are choosing to have fewer. The article also said that of women 40 to 44 who have professional or graduate degrees (again, that would be me) 27% remain childless compared to 18% of women who have no education beyond high school.
I've often been surprised by the number of women who fit this age/education profile who don't have children, but after reading this article, maybe I shouldn't be. We are often misunderstood, we are sometimes looked at as if we have something "wrong" with us because we made this decision, and a lot of times we are seen as selfish.
I certainly can't speak for everyone, but I would say that the majority of women who make this decision don't do so because we don't like children. It was simply a lifestyle choice. I love children, which is pretty necessary considering my career. hahaha
For me, having a child wasn't something I felt I HAD to do. Had it been God's plan for me to have one, I certainly would have welcomed him or her with open arms, but procreating obviously wasn't what God had in mind for me.
I've never felt like I needed validation for my decision, but I can't say that reading this report doesn't provide just a little for me. Even though 27% is still a minority, at least I know I'm not alone.
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It is true not everyone wants children. And there is nothing wrong with that. We have to remember that we know ourselves better than anyone else and each person is unique - that means there is NO ONE exactly like you. And there are some people that have had children that definitely should not. Those are the ones that only enjoy the process of making the child and not the process of rearing that child.
Never worry for one minute about yours and John's decision on this subject. It was your decision and no one, absolutely no one, has the right the question it. As I told the circuit clerk one day, "Do not tell me how I feel about anything. No one can know how another person feels until they have walked in their shoes and even then they will not know fully the other person's feelings."
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