07 May 2008

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is Sunday, so I wanted to make a tribute to BOTH of my mommas.

My mom has been such an important woman in my life, and she has shown me unconditional love. Of course, she has to because she gave birth to me. lol (Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. Who can forget the woman who left her children to drown, trapped in a car? Many of you may have read the book The Boy Called It. Those women are NOT mothers, even if they DID give birth to a child. They are monsters!) Anyway, back to my mom. She has always been there for me, even when I did stupid things. We didn't always agree, and we had our share of arguments, but I knew that at the end of the day, she still loved me and would support me. NEVER as a child or a teen did I feel like she was my friend. She made it clearly known that she was my PARENT. (Thinking back, none of my friends' parents acted like they were our friends, and that is how it should be!!) As an adult, though, my mom is my closest friend. Recently, she has been a sounding board for me. She completely understands some of the things I have had to deal with lately because she has dealt with them as well. Her situation was different from mine, but she knows! I don't know what I'd do without her! Thanks, Mom, for EVERYTHING! I love you!!

My other momma, Billie, has also been a tremendous influence in my life. From the minute I met her, I knew that she and I would get along very well. Just like my own mom, she has provided support, advice, and unconditional love to me over the last 16 years. John and I had been married a very short time, maybe a month or so, when Billie and I were out doing some things together. She wanted to stop by the nursing home to see Miss Margaret, one of her dearest friends. I had gone to the bathroom, and I know they didn't realize I could hear their conversation. Miss Margaret commented to Billie that I was pretty. Billie agreed, and then she went on to say that I was also very sweet and that I was the best thing that could have happened to John. Tears welled up in my eyes because I knew this was from Billie's heart. She had said this to me before, and she still tells me quite frequently, but it meant so much more to hear her say it when she didn't think I heard. I feel so blessed to have this woman in my life as a mother. She doesn't have to love me, but she does, and for that I am forever grateful! Billie, I love you! Thanks for being a second mom to me!

So how does Mother's Day affect me, since I don't have any biological children? Do I get sad and cry? Do I regret the decision John and I made? No, I don't. Many times I have people question me about why John and I chose not to have children. When I met him, Katy and Jessi were 10 and 8. As our relationship began to become more serious and we began to talk about having a future together, the one thing he made sure I understood was that he wanted no more children. I was actually fine with this. Aunnie, my college roommate, and I had often discussed the fact that I didn't feel like I would ever have children myself, so this was NOT a decision I made only after John and I had gotten serious. We had been married about a year or so when we did actually toss around the idea of having a child, but after much discussion, we stuck with our original decision. Now that Katy and Jessi are independent adults, our house is almost paid for (only 8 more payments!), and we have the financial ability to do most anything we want, I am REALLY glad! If we had decided to have a child, he or she would be at the most 14. I don't have the desire to "deal with" all of the teenage angst that comes with that age. I deal with it everyday at work, anyway! Sounds selfish? Maybe. I know some people would think so, but I think it is extremely wise for a couple to realize that they do not have to bring a child into this world just to "complete" themselves. Some people pity those of us who consciously decide not to have children. Please don't! It would be different if I had wanted to have a house full of children but couldn't, but that isn't the case at all!

Happy Mother's Day!


Anonymous said...


Thank you so much for the beautiful things you said on your blog. I know that we have not always seen eye to eye on things, but as parents to children you are not supposed to, but having weathered all those times, we are now the best of friends. I appreciate the fine young lady you have become and the wonderful wife you have become to John, our other son. I never dreamed that when you married him that your Dad and I would also be getting an extended family and that is exactly what ALL of John's family feels like to us. I really look forward to the holiday get togethers in Hartselle. Once again Thanksgiving and Christmas mean something to me.

I also know that times have not been the best lately, but just put it all behind you and let whatever words may fall, just remain fallen.

We will see you all on Saturday. It will be good to see Danny and Linda and Billie again.

Love you, Mr Friend. Mom

Anonymous said...

I love you so much. This was a really sweet thing to say. You have been a great mom to Katy and Jessi. It IS ok that you chose to never have children. That just means that you can love all your nieces and nephews. You are a wonderful aunt! One day when I have a baby, you can spoil it rotten. I will share with you!
I love you,

Anonymous said...


Just wanted to say good morning before I go to the hospital. I still am amazed at your beautiful Mother's Day essay. It will always be my best gift ever. Please remember that your Dad and I love you and always will. Also, please don't let other people hurt you when they say things that make you want to strike back. And pardon my bad grammar, but, "It ain't worth it." I know how you were reared and I know your Christian values and I know the kind of person you are. Just love John and be content in the life the two of you have made for each other. God will handle all other problems. Let go and Let God.

Love you.


This was so beautiful. I am so glad you are my friend. K

I love my Crimson Tide!

I really, REALLY mean this...

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