My mom has been such an important woman in my life, and she has shown me unconditional love. Of course, she has to because she gave birth to me. lol (Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. Who can forget the woman who left her children to drown, trapped in a car? Many of you may have read the book The Boy Called It. Those women are NOT mothers, even if they DID give birth to a child. They are monsters!) Anyway, back to my mom. She has always been there for me, even when I did stupid things. We didn't always agree, and we had our share of arguments, but I knew that at the end of the day, she still loved me and would support me. NEVER as a child or a teen did I feel like she was my friend. She made it clearly known that she was my PARENT. (Thinking back, none of my friends' parents acted like they were our friends, and that is how it should be!!) As an adult, though, my mom is my closest friend. Recently, she has been a sounding board for me. She completely understands some of the things I have had to deal with lately because she has dealt with them as well. Her situation was different from mine, but she knows! I don't know what I'd do without her! Thanks, Mom, for EVERYTHING! I love you!!
My other momma, Billie, has also been a tremendous influence in my life. From the minute I met her, I knew that she and I would get along very well. Just like my own mom, she has provided support, advice, and unconditional love to me over the last 16 years. John and I had been married a very short time, maybe a month or so, when Billie and I were out doing some things together. She wanted to stop by the nursing home to see Miss Margaret, one of her dearest friends. I had gone to the bathroom, and I know they didn't realize I could hear their conversation. Miss Margaret commented to Billie that I was pretty. Billie agreed, and then she went on to say that I was also very sweet and that I was the best thing that could have happened to John. Tears welled up in my eyes because I knew this was from Billie's heart. She had said this to me before, and she still tells me quite frequently, but it meant so much more to hear her say it when she didn't think I heard. I feel so blessed to have this woman in my life as a mother. She doesn't have to love me, but she does, and for that I am forever grateful! Billie, I love you! Thanks for being a second mom to me!
So how does Mother's Day affect me, since I don't have any biological children? Do I get sad and cry? Do I regret the decision John and I made? No, I don't. Many times I have people question me about why John and I chose not to have children. When I met him, Katy and Jessi were 10 and 8. As our relationship began to become more serious and we began to talk about having a future together, the one thing he made sure I understood was that he wanted no more children. I was actually fine with this. Aunnie, my college roommate, and I had often discussed the fact that I didn't feel like I would ever have children myself, so this was NOT a decision I made only after John and I had gotten serious. We had been married about a year or so when we did actually toss around the idea of having a child, but after much discussion, we stuck with our original decision. Now that Katy and Jessi are independent adults, our house is almost paid for (only 8 more payments!), and we have the financial ability to do most anything we want, I am REALLY glad! If we had decided to have a child, he or she would be at the most 14. I don't have the desire to "deal with" all of the teenage angst that comes with that age. I deal with it everyday at work, anyway! Sounds selfish? Maybe. I know some people would think so, but I think it is extremely wise for a couple to realize that they do not have to bring a child into this world just to "complete" themselves. Some people pity those of us who consciously decide not to have children. Please don't! It would be different if I had wanted to have a house full of children but couldn't, but that isn't the case at all!
Happy Mother's Day!