Almost every morning, Karen, one of my dear friends, walks over to my room, or I walk over to hers and we just chat about everything and nothing. One of the disadvantages of being a teacher is that during the day, we don't get much "adult" conversation, so we take advantage of any opportunity to be around other adults. Even though I teach seniors for the majority of the day, and even though they are considered young adults, their focus and mine are vastly different. That isn't to say that I haven't had wonderful conversations with my students, but some things you just don't discuss with them!
Anyway, back to Karen. She has been one of my many sounding boards and support providers over the last few months This morning, our conversation drifted around to several different topics: summer plans, parents, kids, among others. As we discussed one of the others, Karen suggested that I am actually being therapeutic. When a person is faced with grief, there are the five stages of acceptance: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Not everyone experiences grief in the same way or for the same lengths of time. At the anger stage, one sometimes "transfers" his or her anger to someone outside the situation--a scapegoat, if you will. Karen feels that has happened to me, and I can see where she might be right. Maybe I am actually helping someone through these stages. I will admit that I am not totally in the right in the overall situation, but I know that I am not totally wrong, either.